My darling, you are two and still breastfed – the child I prayed to God I’d manage to nurse for six dear months, never sure we’d make it.
Your long, lean limbs sprawl out, growing surer. Your body, mind and voice are strong. I look at you and admire your growing independence, always ready with a “No” and surprisingly fast when you run away. Every day you do one hundred things I’d never imagine doing, such is your creativity, your confidence, your separateness from me.
So when you come to the breast, I’m under no illusions: our relationship has changed. I am not your life-source as I once was. You eat so many foods these days. It’s only comfort some might say, as if comfort were so mundane and unimportant a thing. As if the ability to create peace within another human being could be easily mustered by anyone. As if it were simple.
Yet what I see happening between us is so complex. At the breast you continue to learn trust. You learn that you may run into this world, exploring, inventing, asserting but I am here when you need retreat, when you remember you’re still so little. I am here to provide continuity in a world that is ever changing.
As we go on, I too learn trust. I trust that you will leave me when you are ready. I trust my instinct and won’t put others’ opinions above your needs or my own. And I trust that the bond we’re forging will survive lost memories of all these brief moments at the breast.
I trust, knowing that I don’t know how much time we have left.
This is my last post for this year’s Keep Britain Breastfeeding Scavenger Hunt, celebrating National Breastfeeding Awareness Week 2013. To gather points for a chance to win a grand prize of LOTS of breastfeeding-related products, leave a comment saying how long you (or the person you’re entering on behalf of) have breastfed or hope to continue breastfeeding for then enter the Rafflecopter widget below.
THIS COMPETITION HAS NOW CLOSED.
When you comment on this post will also be entered to win a Breast Milk Keepsakes voucher worth £30. Breast Milk Keepsakes turns expressed breast milk into beads and sets them in beautiful jewellery. I think it’s a wonderful way to forever remember your breastfeeding relationship with your little one.
Deadline for entry to win the voucher is 23.59 on Thursday 4th July 2013. The winner will be announced here on the blog the following day. The winner is responsible for providing a minimum of 30ml of breast milk and for P&P of the milk to Breast Milk Keepsakes. The voucher is valid for six months. THIS GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED. Congratulations, Louise Rose!
Check out a few other bloggers participating in the hunt: